Alex and I have been living together for a few months now and it actually feels like I am living with my best friend. In the grand scheme of things, our journey has been really smooth but just like any couple, we’ve had little issues we had to work through. Here’s what I’ve learned through our journey so far.
Lesson Number One: Communicate.
Learning to actually communicate with my boyfriend my thoughts and feelings has been a true challenge. I do open up and I do talk but I always need to do it in my own time, which might take… days. My boyfriend, on the other hand, faces things very head-on so when something happens he wants us to deal with it there and then. Needless to say, we had to meet halfway. We both dealt with the same situation so differently. While I needed to take my time and think about the situation, Alex was getting so frustrated when I did not want to talk and he had no idea what was going on in my head. My advice would be that no matter want the case is, make sure to actually talk about it! Even if it is just to say that you are not ready to talk (LOL), make sure to keep the communication between you going.
Lesson Number Two: Be patient.
Easy to say, not that easy to actually do. I had to learn to be patient and this did not come to me naturally whatsoever. I would ask Alex to do -what I thought to be- the simplest thing and he would keep forgetting and I would keep getting more and more frustrated. I soon realised, what I was asking him to do was to form a habit and not just do a one-off thing. Even though to me it came naturally to make a sandwich and then put everything away, to him, I didn’t. And it drove me crazy!!! I was thinking, come on, how difficult can this be?! The truth is, it wasn’t difficult he just had to get into the habit of doing it. Meanwhile, I had to learn to be very patient (for my own wellbeing haha).
Lesson Number Three: Cherish the time you have together
I feel like this is something that came to us naturally but with Alex working so much, we both had to put extra effort into making our time together count. For example, we both try to limit the time we spend on our phones and instead actually enjoy each other’s company. We actively make an effort to do things together, whether it is to do laundry, prep food or agree on a movie to watch. Another thing I always want us to do is to sit on the kitchen table to eat dinner. I feel like it is so important for us to just sit down (with no TV, no phones, no distractions) and just enjoy our food and talk about our day.