“there is nothing in nature that blooms all year long, so don’t expect yourself to do so either”
I came across this quote on WeHeartIt a few days ago and Oh My God, these few words have literally opened my eyes. No one can be happy all the time! It is physically impossible. We are humans and we experience emotions, so many emotions. So no, we cannot be happy all the time. In fact, we do not have to be happy all the time.
Do you know that feeling when you are in a perfectly good mood and all of a sudden you just feel like crap? Well, I know I do and I am sure there are so many women out there who can relate! Overall, I would describe myself as a positive person and for the most part, you will notice that I am in a really good mood. However, some days something happens inside of me and my mood just changes 180 degrees. Nothing specific has to happen to change my mood… it just suddenly happens. I am the type of person that doesn’t get stressed, so perhaps that is my body’s way to handle situations?! I have no idea. I genuinely have no idea why it happens and for the longest time, I was trying so hard to fight it. I didn’t like feeling this way and having people ask me “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?!”. Ugh, please! No, I am not okay but I will be. Now just leave me alone. Whenever that would happen, I would try so hard to figure out exactly what was causing it, in order to be able to deal with it and fix it. I discovered that you cannot always pinpoint problems and fix them. Somethings are a bit more complicated than that.
My one true desire in this life is to be happy. I just want my everyday life to be enjoyable, I want to be at peace and go to sleep at night and feel genuinely happy. With that said, I used to absolutely hate these mood swings. On top of making feel like crap, they also added pressure as I was trying to figure out why they were happening and what was causing them. One day, I finally just gave up and that was the best decision I have ever made. Now they are just a part of me! They are a part of myself and my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. They sure don’t happen that often, but when they do, I know just how to deal with them. I have stopped trying to find answers, I have stopped trying to figure out why they are happening and how to make them stop. I have learned to live with them and I am actually happier than ever. The thing is, it is okay to have down times. It is perfectly okay to feel sad and it is even okay to not know what it is that you actually feel. It is okay not to feel okay sometimes, because it is just part of our nature! “Nothing in nature blooms all year long”, so why should YOU??? Well, guess what, you don’t! You do not have to bloom all year round. You are allowed to feel a certain way every now and then and you should not beat yourself up about it.
After accepting it, I have learned how to actually deal with it. I know that when it happens, I just need to take my time, take care of myself and just wait until it goes away. I know that during those times I need to be alone (I have always enjoyed my own company), be patient and wait for it to be over. I have tried, but I cannot force myself to escape it when it happens. I had honestly tried sooo hard in the past, to just fight against it and find my happy self within all that, but it was impossible. Nothing I did could ever make it go away. The funny thing is, I went from hating it to feeling like I actually need it sometimes. When it happens, I literally cannot force myself to do anything!!! I cannot even force a smile hahah. It almost feels like someone else is taking over my body and whatever my heart feels, I have to do. It’s like my brain has no control, whatsoever, which allows me to just relax and almost find myself in the busy routine of everyday life. I am always so busy being ‘happy’, living and doing things… I think my body (more like my mind actually) just overloads and that’s its way of taking a break. If you have not experienced anything similar, it is rather hard to explain. However, if you have, you know exactly what I am on about. I have accepted that I cannot bloom all year long. More importantly, I have learned to accept that sometimes I am not okay. I embrace my bad days and I come back, feeling better than ever.
To all my lovely women out there, that go through similar phases, please know that you are not alone. No one is alone in this world! There are so many of us on this planet so remember that whatever it is you are going through, someone else is going through something very similar as well. If you can relate to my situation, I really really hope that my post has helped you. Do not be afraid to be sad and vulnerable and not be okay, because this is the real strength. You are a beautiful, strong woman and you are allowed to feel things that make you sad. Please don’t ever let anything take away your happiness, and just remember that it is absolutely okay, not be okay sometimes. Take care! 😉
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